Pirates

In a fit of nostalgia, my sweetie recently decided to apply his accumulated knowledge and experience to finally, after years of pining, "catch 'em all."

Yes, I'm talking about Pokemon, the quintessential 90's pastime of enslaving and cock-fighting cutesy stylized animals. He is diligently working through the series one game at a time. He just polished off LeafGreen and is working through XD while he waits for FireRed to arrive from Amazon.

He should have already had FireRed, because we ordered a used copy of it last week. When it arrived, he happily IM'd me at work to let me know. He slipped the cartridge into his DS to try it out. Then the IM conversation turned sour.

"The save file is ok."

Those five little words screamed one thing to him: bootleg.

When I arrived home that evening he had me examine the pirated game to teach me what to look for.

#1 There's a very obvious clock battery stuck inside, which is responsible for the "save file is ok" message.
#2 The Nintendo seal of quality is worded incorrectly and in the wrong font.
#3 The item number is missing from the inside lip of the cartridge, where it would be embossed in the factory.
#4 The title is wrong. Apparently, all Pokemon games have "Version" at the end of the particular game name, which is all one word. Example: "LeafGreen Version." "Fire Red," with a space in the middle, doesn't cut it.

Then he showed me a collection of other famously bootlegged games. Some had the wrong system printed on the box, movie characters on the cover, or bogus but amusing titles like "Pokemon Shiny Gold." I had no idea there was such a prevalence of underground pirating. Fortunately, the seller promptly refunded our money. He was unaware that his supplier was giving him dirty goods.

So now I know how to recognize a cheap rip-off of a game when I see one. Now all I have to do is train my eye to see irregularities in jewels, Rolex watches, and designer duds, and I'll be the ultimate savvy shopper.

[Update: We're now convinced the seller was aware the game was illegitimate and is a member of a ring of bootleggers on Amazon.]

[EDIT 10/10/10: Here is a side-by-side comparison between this bootleg and a legitimate cartridge we've since obtained.]